Mea culpa
Mea Culpa
Mea maxima culpa

It has been several days, maybe weeks, since my last time...
But maybe that's because I have nothing to report that would be worthy of flagellation.

I have thought, though, of spending money on myself. Is that bad? It's my money, in a way, and ours in the other way. Which always wins. The secret to marriage is compromise. You say what you want, the wife says what she wants, then you do what she wants. That way you have each expressed your feelings, and she is happy.

The key to successful marriage is communication. The key to communication is conversation. The key to conversation is to listen enough that you catch the auditory cues for when to respond. Not necessarily a repartee, but an acknowledgment that you are listening. You need to learn to bifurcate your hearing, with the 60/40 rule: 60% of your hearing goes to the conversation when necessary, then 40% when you want to keep up with something on the radio or TV. But if you slip below 40% listening to "the conversation" you may miss a cue, and you'll be caught not paying attention. And the whole purpose of marriage is to pay attention.

The old man was asked the secret of his long life and long marriage. He said when he was first married a wise old man told him that whenever he and his wife argued, he should go outside and get some fresh air. He said I owe my long life and long marriage to a lot of fresh air.

More in Uxorial, when it is finally published.