In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was some time ago.

I ate too much. I fell asleep during the sermon. But only for a few seconds. At a time. And I stared too long at a few people. I was reading and nodding off when I could have been having a conversation. About what, I really don’t know. But I should have tried. I bought a big screen monitor and nobody knows about it yet. I think I’ll give it to myself for Christmas. But I can’t say it’s from Santa, so I’ll have to confess that I just went and bought it. But I saved a hundred bucks, maybe more. I’m not ready for Christmas, in a way; and in another way I wish it were already January, and have done with the whole dang thing. I left all the shopping up to her…or rather, all the decisions. But then, what can I do? She says, “What do you think about this for so-and-so?” and I say, “I don’t know, I don’t think they’ll like that so much…” and she says, “You never think anybody will like anything. I don’t know why I even ask you.” And I don’t either. I try to be honest. I really don’t think they’ll like that crap. But at least I do go around most of the time with her, and it’s me what pulls out the credit card and signs my life away. “I have to tell you something,” she says. “This year, I don’t want to have any of your negative attitude about buying stuff for everybody. Every year for years now you’ve made me almost sick at my stomach [she means literally] with your attitude of we can’t afford this or we shouldn’t spend that.” OK. What about all those Christmases where I got sick [literally—and I mean, where one side of my face got stiff and I could barely move my jaw] from the worry of money, where we would get the money for the January house payment, because of spending for Christmas. Anyway, you can see, father, that I am not very repentant on this yet.

Well, that’s all I can think of right now.

I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all because I have offended Thee, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen.

For His mercy endures forever.